i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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