I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
nutella sex= disaster
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Randomize
