I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
