Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have post one night stand depression
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
