Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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