I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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