Got a toothbrush?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Pants are for mortals
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