Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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