I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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