It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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