Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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