This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
