your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
