Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
