My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
