so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
