dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Randomize
