before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
