Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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