If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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