i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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