Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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