We're facebook friends in real life
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
