i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i drank out of a bidet.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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