I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
