By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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