matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
