____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
