I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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