It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
