if i can run in heels then i can drive
Me. At least after what I've been through.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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