we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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