I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
