He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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