i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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