Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize