I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize