Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
