..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
