accomplished twins. life is a go
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
