And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
