If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Success! We fucked roommates!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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