What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
