its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
