we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
