he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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