Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
