you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
