You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
