She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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