Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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