At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
