The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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