I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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