doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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