We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
