yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
