he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
