they need to just BURY HIM!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
